Here I go, heading into week 6 of radiation, my final week! I am feeling good and I am feeling strong. I have to admit that the mental toll this has taken has been much harder than anything physical. It didn’t help that a few weeks ago I did what I thought I wouldn’t and googled my diagnosis. I have previously mentioned how hard that diagnosis hit me and I just had to see what it said and find out more. Well, let me just tell you it was not good and down into the deep depths of darkness I went. The reality crippled me. All of a sudden I wasn’t just fighting to see my son graduate from high School, I was fighting to see him go to kindergarten. It was all very heartbreaking, I believed that I was actually dying. Life was extremely mentally difficult for a few weeks, and then I was so upset with myself that I let this break me down. Honestly though I think I needed to. I had to experience the gut wrenching sobs in order to grasp my reality. I am not sure I could move forward without that acceptance. Then, I came across that quote from Dr. Black and YES!! YES!! YES!! It finally clicked in my head and brought me back to the light. I am my own statistic! True, I am in a very unlucky and unfortunate situation. A situation that I can’t change, but while in it I am actually a lucky one. I am young for this disease, I was able to have at least 95% of my tumor removed, and I have little to no neurological deficits from the tumor. Along with a lucky mutated gene in my genetic make-up, all of this gives me a high chance for a good outcome. I am not the general statistic, I am my own outlier that will sway the curve! Until the time comes where my body can’t tolerate anymore and my organs are actually shutting down, I’m living life…not dying. That is what is important, I am choosing to live and fight and stay strong for as long as I possibly can. I will make as many memories as possible with my family and friends and I will advocate like hell to find a cure. As I tackle the final week and learn more about what is to come I really feel ready again. There will continue to be good and bad days, but I will never give up. I’ve got this fight! Here I come week 6!
You are so incredibly brave and strong to take this on and keep such a positive attitude. You will not be just a statistic or a number. Your story will be an inspiration to so many people who feel like they have no chance. Keep fighting and stay strong Katie!!!
You are so amazing! Last week of radiation! Go u!! I truly believe you will live a long, healthy, happy life. Way to fight! We will celebrate when you are done and on to your next chapter! Love u girl.